Gutted. Bereft. Hungover. Smelling like BO. That’s all that remains of my dream of England winning the Euros. It’s been three days since...

It’s the semi-final today and I’m shitting myself. There’s literally an exact clone of me coming through my bumhole right now – a...

It’s. Coming. Home. I set myself a target a few months ago to write a new blog every Wednesday, but I don’t know what to write about...

I hate being recommended things. It’s a bad way to live my life, but if someone says you should do this thing, then it makes me instantly...

I feel like my subconscious needs some new material. If there has been any benefit of the pandemic for me, I would say it’s helped me get...

After a few seconds, he looked up at me and said: “I’m sorry, mate, say again?” I said again. “Check in there under the sink,” he said,...

Dear Carly From Work, I am just writing to confess my profound love for you. I think you are very pretty and also you probably have a...

Last night I went to the pub. I’d been waiting for this night for six months. Part of my fantasy of freedom during lockdown was to...

The week after your birthday is a very depressing time. Last week I was the fucking man. My flatmate Joe threw me a mini-surprise party...

One of the questions I get asked as a comedian is, “Is there anything you can’t joke about?” And although it potentially contradicts the...

I am twentysomething. My buttocks are firm; my face is shiny; and my eyes glimmer with hope. I am the most powerful age I could ever be....

This summer is gonna be wicked, init? I mean you’ll still have all your problems. You’ll still be bogged down by a fear of failure and a...