I feel like my subconscious needs some new material. If there has been any benefit of the pandemic for me, I would say it’s helped me get...

After a few seconds, he looked up at me and said: “I’m sorry, mate, say again?” I said again. “Check in there under the sink,” he said,...

Dear Carly From Work, I am just writing to confess my profound love for you. I think you are very pretty and also you probably have a...

Last night I went to the pub. I’d been waiting for this night for six months. Part of my fantasy of freedom during lockdown was to...

The week after your birthday is a very depressing time. Last week I was the fucking man. My flatmate Joe threw me a mini-surprise party...

One of the questions I get asked as a comedian is, “Is there anything you can’t joke about?” And although it potentially contradicts the...

I am twentysomething. My buttocks are firm; my face is shiny; and my eyes glimmer with hope. I am the most powerful age I could ever be....

This summer is gonna be wicked, init? I mean you’ll still have all your problems. You’ll still be bogged down by a fear of failure and a...

It was 10:50am and I was more nervous than I’d been in quite a while. I don’t wanna oversell it by saying it was the most nervous I’ve...

Every time I have a bout of depression, I say to myself “What is this experience trying to teach me?” I’d like the answer to be something...

The guilt seeps in when I go for a walk. Part of the guilt is that I’m procrastinating. I should be inside doing something productive:...

About a year ago I started having boiled eggs for dinner. Is it dinner or lunch? For some people dinner is the meal you have in the...